Seattle in the Snow
(From The Oatmeal.)
It’s widely understood that Seattle needs a better way to measure snowfall. However, what’s lacking is a solid proposal for how to measure snowfall around here. And so I have a proposal.
We should create a new unit of measurement: The Nickels. Named after Greg Nickels, who lost the mayorship of Seattle because he couldn’t manage the snow.
Now, there’s a couple of ways we could define the Nickels. It could be:
- The amount of snow needed to cost a Mayor 10 points of approval rating
- The amount of snow needed to cause a bus to slide down Olive way and teeter over the highway
- 2 millimeters
- Enough snow to reduce the coefficient of city road friction by 1%.
I’m not sure any of these are really right, so please suggest other ways we could define a Nickels in the comments.
I think the unit needs to be the Bilandic, for the same reason. Since he lost to Jane Byrne, if someone as much as drops an ice cube in Chicago, they dump a cubic mile of salt on every road.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_Anthony_Bilandic
As for what a “Bilandic” is:
1. The amount of snow needed to cause X hundred salt trucks to be dispatched
2. The amount of snow needed to cause X number of parking spots to be reserved via the time-honored “dibs” system ( http://www.flickr.com/photos/meryddian/3189655796/ )
3. The amount of snow necessary to cause dire warnings X days in advance (oooh…a leading indicator)
Close. The thickness of a US nickel is 1.95mm.
The amount of snow needed for 85% of Seattle residents to abandon work and flee home. So, 3 flakes.