Big Brother Has Your Best Interests At Heart
So pay no attention to the thoughtcriminals who are not bored, and their ridiculous propaganda documenting “Abuses of surveillance cameras” [link to http://www.notbored.org/camera-abuses.html no longer works]. We all know that cameras never lie, film can’t be edited or mis-interpreted, the police would never use cameras to look in your bedroom window, and that the videos taken will be strictly controlled. Those who try to convince you that the camera adds ten pounds are also those who think that there are abuses of surveillance cameras [link to http://www.notbored.org/camera-abuses.html no longer works]. Really, though, what is meant by abuse? It is the wrongful use of something. As we all know, the President has inherent Constitutional authority as Commander-in-Chief to take those actions he deems needed to protect all Americans and the freedoms we enjoy. As President he has inherent authority to watch your every move, and we are all thankful that he chooses to exercise these rights. Further, by creating the best-documented generation in history, he is providing countless current and future historians with an unparalleled look into how each of us goes about our day, keeping American Values in our hearts at all times.
Why anyone would think it an abuse of surveillance cameras [link to http://www.notbored.org/camera-abuses.html no longer works] to capture evidence of so-called “peaceful protesters” taking to the streets and supporting terrorists? Even if some of the evidence isn’t provided to defense counsel, the President deserves credit for allowing defense counsel at trials. Claims that these “edited” videos don’t present a “full picture” are clearly wrong. Each and every frame of a video is a full picture. Those full pictures, each and every one of them, is far more evidence than before Big Brother deployed cameras like this.
Won’t someone think of the children? Dedicated government employees like Brian J. Doyle spent hours reviewing videotape of children. In the future, cameras will prevent traitors like Doyle from approaching children, because they will fear the cameras. Of course, people like Doyle will know where the public cameras are, so there will be a second, secret set of cameras, so as to protect the children from abuse of surveillance cameras [link to http://www.notbored.org/camera-abuses.html no longer works].
All this because Big Brother wants to spend your money to keep you safe. Don’t you feel safer already?
Also, don’t forget that you’re most likely to be murdered at home and in the home you’re most likely to be murdered in the kitchen or the bedroom. Therefore, to combat the scourge of violent crime the government should, for our own safety, install surveillance cameras in our kitchens and bedrooms. After all, if you’re not committing any crimes then you’ve got nothing to hide so why would you ever object?
Meanwhile, if anyone dares to print anything about a massive eavesdropping program that is unprecedented in scale, and relies on dubious claims of emperor-like authority for the Commander-in-Chief for its legality, next stop: prison.
I think we should outlaw videocameras. And hammers for that matter (they can be abused as well). Maybe we shouldn’t outlaw them, but just put “other people” in charge who would likely do a better job governing (after all, everyone knows that concerns like this are about power and control and really have nothing to do with videocameras being abused) until they become “big brother” so then we can put “other, other people” in charge until we get to the point where we think nobody should be in charge except that it doesn’t make any sense to have nobody in charge (as we’d find out, and have found out soon enough) so we should just put the “right people” in charge except that the “right people” are also the “wrong people” to some so then we should just sort of complain about everything… whew! it works 😉 I feel better already.
One day, you’ll find out it is actually your neighbors and friends who are recording everything that you really have to worry about (and you are going to want the government to create a law to protect you from it – go figure)…
Comrade Pete,
One of the chief innovations of the party is that we don’t outlaw tools, we outlaw the thoughts that lead to their abuse.